Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

-Tyler Durden

11/25/06

Got back last night after spending a few days outside San Antonio for Thanksgiving.
Had a great time. Unfortunately the much anticipated Thanksgiving football game never quite took off. Ended up throwing a baseball around with a few other guys. Eventually someone produced a baseball bat(more like a t-ball bat) and we then took turns hitting it. After having a six-pack on an empty stomach and when using an undersized bat, a baseball can be surprisingly hard to hit. I looked more like I was trying to fight off bees.
Thanks to Tim and co. we were all entertained to a pre-dinner home made explosives show. Dinner was great other than the fact that I came under a terrible allergy attack, it seems that anytime I take more than 2 days off work I get sick with something.
Spent the next day with my parents at Lake Medina playing mini-golf and feeding the hundreds of almost tame deer(Kylie calls them "bambis"}that roam the park.
Now I'm home to face the piles of dirty laundry, unmade beds, and dirty bathrooms that I had left in the hurry to get to Thanksgiving dinner.

BP and KB

11/22/06

I've decided that I would try to change the way I blog from a few random posts a month to more of a daily entry. Everyone, including myself , tends to excuse their lack of posting as "I just don't have time" or " I'm bored of my blog" but we all actually have 5 minutes a day to write something down. Anyway.....We'll see how this goes. I personally have a whole half-day to myself right now, as I did some lobbying at work and convinced the majority of the crew that they deserved to take the rest of the day being that it is the day before Thanksgiving. So, being in a union does have it's perks...
Tomorrow I'll take the kids to San Antonio to spend Thanksgiving with family and friends. I'm supposed to bring pie and alcohol(Heh). I figured if I get some good liquor it won't matter what kind of pie I bring. I might try and get a good ol' fashion Thanksgiving football game going.
Happy Thanksgiving to all family and friends who won't be there. You will be missed.

20 Flight Rock

For some reason I'm not sure why,I started singing Eddie Cochran's 20 Flight Rock at work today. Half-way through I suddenly got the premise of the song. Basically a guy has a girlfriend who lives in a high rise and he really wants to screw but the elevator is broken so he has to climb 20 stories to "get some". When he finally reaches the 20th floor he's too tired to "do the nasty". I'm sure it's evident to most of you, but I've been singing this song as long as I can remember. It was always just a fun song. I never really thought about it before. Then I remembered performing it with my brothers and sisters at old folks homes while my dad accompanied us on the guitar....... Shame on you old man!

Sometimes.....

......you just don't want to get back on.

Learn to swim.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.

Do you see my new shoes?

I broke down and bought a new pair of climbing shoes after I came to the realization that the used pair I had got off Craig's List weren't going to cut the mustard anymore.
I had listened to and read the advice of many different climbing enthusiast and many seemed to adhere to the notion that when selecting a climbing shoe it's good to go a size down from what you would normally wear in a street shoe. The idea being that it forces all your weight onto your big toe(being the stronger one) while curling your other toes down and toward the big toe thus making it easier to wedge your foot into different holds. Also a tighter shoe allows for greater sensitivity. Some will go as far as to say that if doesn't hurt your feet than they're too loose.
After trying on a few pair, I settled on one. It seemed very tight but, being an over achiever, I figured it was just me being a pussy and that I would eventually get used to it..... I was wrong! I haven't been in such pain in years. I felt like a cripple trying to hobble up the walls. Once I got to the top it hurt too much to climb down and I wouldn't dare jump down for fear of the pain the shoes would cause as I hit the floor. Luckily a guy I had met there had also just bought a different pair for the same price but wanted the pair I had. We ended up trading shoes. The pair I traded for ended up being just right.
Saturday I'll being trying them out on my first out-door climb......Wish me luck.....

It's not that I've lost interest in you. It's not that you've done anything wrong.
...It's not you.
...It's me.
...It's just that there's someplace else I'd rather be.

I'm at a ross for lurds

These Guys Pointed me in the general direction....when I came across THIS. WTF?

Short or Wrong?...

My life, it seams, is a series of bad haircuts.

I should have known better than to step in. Must have been the allure of the clever national chain advertising. Numerous good looking,vibrant, smiling faces overjoyed with their haircuts and the new found confidence. I too could be one of those people! If I just had the haircut to match.
So I proceed to take a seat in the barbers chair. As I wait for the stylist(butcher) to arrive I notice that that she is conversing with her co-worker. My stomach turns as I relize they are speaking to each other in what I assume is Vietnamese. I foresee a communications problem so I painstakingly explain to her in my clearest English how I would like my haircut. Mama always said that in life "We don't always get what we like", apparently this is will be one of those times.
I soon found myself having to defend my preference in hairstyle. I cringe as she shaves of a section of hair that she didn't deem appropriate and then to add to my torture, have to remind her that since she shaved off one side she would have to do the same to the other.
I leave the chair feeling violated in every sense of the word. Yet still I find that for some reason beyond rational thought, I feel obligated to tip.

Turns out my cut wasn't quite "Super".

Mental Frustipation

.....For lack of a better term.


I would slay a minotaur with my bare hands for a backrub!

Oh well...

Cosmic Irony

Definition: The idea that fate, destiny, or a god controls and toys with human hopes and expectations; also, the belief that the universe is so large and man is so small that the universe is indifferent to the plight of man; also called irony of fate

This is my struggle: To see beyond the disappointments of today, the unforeseen debacle, the seemingly divine malice. To Trust: a simple notion, yet so difficult.
To know that everything will work out. To know that bewilderment will turn to understanding. To learn that love , though painful at times, is not weakness but the purpose of our existence. To live one day at a time. To enjoy the ride.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

George Carlin

With just a look they shook
And heavens bowed before him.
Simply a look can break your heart.
The stars that pierce the sky,
He left them all behind.
We’re left to wonder why
He left us all behind

Dave Vs. The Javaman

I have resolved to give up coffee

Jamie and Heidi went out of town on vacation for a week. Heidi usually makes the coffee in the morning, or at least she sets the coffee pot up. Suddenly having been placed in the situation where I have to make my own, I became inspired to give it up all together.
I had actually been thinking about it for a while now. Over the past few years, due to my daily schedule, I've found that it's been an increasingly easy habit to get into. Don't get me wrong now! I don't have a problem with coffee drinkers. I just can't stand the thought of being dependent on it, or anything else for that matter. I often find myself walking out of the room when a good TV show is on so that I don't feel like a have to keep up with the next episode.
How hard could it be? I've given up a lot of things recently i.e sex,alcohol( right), sanity, dignity. Besides, I never actually liked coffee in the first place.
The first day I got up, ate and left the house. About an hour after I got to work the Javaman let loose. I was overcome with tiredness and spent the rest of the day in semi-state of consciousness. I found myself getting headaches in the evening from caffeine withdrawals. I really didn't think I was that addicted. I have found however, that everyday it gets a little easier. I'm now in my second week of being nearly coffee free, and have never felt better(RIGHT!).....Actually I do feel pretty good, dare I say I even have a positive attitude?

We'll see how it goes......

Dave vs. The Texas heat.

Up in the mornin'
Out on the job
I work like the devil for my pay
But that lucky old sun's got nothin' to do
But roll, roll around heaven all day.



It's been over 100 degrees outside and as luck would have it they have me working outside. To compound my troubles, my truck has been overheating. Which means no AC.
I set out to tackle the problem,I started by changing the thermostat. After the problem continued, I proceeded to change the radiator cap and then the fan clutch. Still the little truck continued to overheat. Yesterday I had to drive home with the heater on just to make it home. After pealing my sweaty, nasty, stankass out of the truck I concluded that it had to be either the radiator or the water pump.
One way to test your water pump is to wait till the engine warms up and disconnect the radiator return hose from the radiator. If water comes flowing out of the engine then you know your water pump is probably still good.*(water coming from the engine will most likely be extremely hot!!! It will scaled your hands) I knew this, yet I was so pissed at my truck that I didn't care.
After I eliminated the water pump from my list of probable culprits, I went ahead and removed the radiator and hand it cleaned out at a shop. I finally installed it tonight....All seems well. Now I will let the sweet conditioned air flow over my glistening sweat soaked body!

Start Wearing Purple

Close encounters

I am on vacation in Florida (been walking around in sandals and all) It's been great!( other than a case of poison ivy). Flew from Houston to Jacksonville and the next day drove down to Orlando. Met up with my sisters and some old friends for dinner and the next day we hit Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. Spent about 10 hrs between the 2 parks. They have some awesome rollercoasters and 3D rides. I actually was able to get Brendon on a few of the rides( which is a big deal). Spent most of today sleeping and recovering.

Rhymes with Dave

There was a hermit named Dave.
He kept an old whore in his cave.
She was minus a tit and smelled just like s*@t
But look at the money he saved.

Summer sky.

Brown eyes gaze,her heart's been razed.
locked in deep,around the monster creeps.
Oceans fill,from the tears she spills.
Fears set free, she'll never come to be.

Stars falling from this summer sky.
By and by the whole world ignites.
Dreams to be. Dreams, not for me.
The dry earth quakes, she begins to wake.

Brown eyes gaze upon the cursed face.
The souless beast,on her will never feast.
For he has fled, his heart's been bled.
Lost is he in his trite to-be

Stars falling from this summer sky.
By and by the whole world ignites.
Dreams to be. Dreams, not for me.
The dry earth quakes, she begins to wake.

Brown eyes gaze, upon the earth awake.
This place so green, could not be a dream.
life set free for her will always be.
A hint to take...I will never wake.

Stars falling from this summer sky.
By and by the whole world ignites.
Dreams to be. Dreams, for me.
The dry earth quakes, I begin to wake.

Amendment

The previous post was a shameless display of low self-esteem. I would like to distance myself from the afore mentioned statement. The fault lies solely on a closet case of MPD.

....the paper it's printed on.

Not worth the phone call.
Not worth giving up for.
Not worth the jealous roomate.
Not worth my reputation.
Not worth what others might think.
Not worth taking a chance on.
Not worth the risk.
Not worth the morning after.
Not worth the moment.
Not worth the drink.

Dave Vs. the scissor lift

Got in a fight with the scissor lift at work the other day. Have to say the lift won this one, as I'm lucky to have my head intact. A lot goes through your mind when you relise you might be resposible for your own decapitation. Anyway I got off with a sore head and swollen ear. I had no idea an ear could swell up to such a size. Not to mention the bruised ego.

Hey there.

I must have lost my mind.
Must have been the overtime.
All the self-imposed worry and busyness.
How could I forget?

Then out of nowhere it hits like a Mack Truck.
The deafening shatter of everything else.
All is quiet.
Through what's been heard or said, I'm taken back.
Now it's just you and me.
You and me.
Life was simple.


Are you ever proud of me?

Why do you never sing in church on Sundays?
Why won’t you ever go all the way?
You’re floating towards heavenly hell
Hanging from the rafters like a church bell
You're light years away from reality
Lonely, and lost in a white Russian galaxy

Who knows what goes on in her pretty little head?
Who knows?

Dante's Inferno

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Dave vs. the shifter.

While changing my clutch the other day, (see preceding post) I ran into one of many snags. This particular one involved the gear shifter. In order to get at the clutch one must first drop the tranny and one of the many step to lowering the transmission is to remove the shifter.
Removing the shifter would seem like one of the easiest parts of the entire process, and it actually is, but due to an error in the Hanes manual( It seems I wasted 17 bucks),I was led astray. After stipping out what I thought was the correct bolt ,out of sheer frustration, I ended up cutting the shifter off with a hack saw.
I proceeded to lower the transmission, change the clutch, and reinstall the transmission. Now came the question of what to do about the shifter. I came up with what seemed like a brilliant idea (ok brilliant for 9 pm on easter Sunday when you haven't had dinner yet). I would drill a hole in each of the adjoining pieces of the shifter, insert a metal dowel(in this case the shaft of an old screwdriver) in the hole, and apply a good metal apoxy.
It seemed to work just fine,though in the back of my mind,I knew it wouldn't last.
Sure enough, a few days later while getting on the interstate, I slammed it into gear and it broke off. I was then stuck on the side of the road and I needed to get to class. To top things off it sarted poring rain( Thanks Jesus! I know you might think it's funny.....Who am I kidding I would have too if it wasn't me) After digging around for a few minutes I came upon an old pair of vice-grips. I clamped it down on the base part of the shifter and then placed the shifter ball on the vice- grip handle. It eneded up working nicely. I drove around like that for a few days 'till I could get someone to weld the shifter back together.
Lesson learned?.....Don't leave home with out a pair of vice-grips

Dave Vs. The Clutch.

The clutch on my truck has been slipping for about a month now. It's also been getting harder and harder to shift gears. So I decided that this weekend would be a good time to change it out. I've changed a clutch once before on a 93 Honda Civic.
It was a terrible job that I spanned out over a few weeks. After a few nights of scrubbing the my grease coverd body at 3 am I resolved never to have to do it again, at least not on a front wheel drive automobile. This time would be different they all said. Rear wheel drive vehicles are a lot easier. .....So I thought!....So said all the experts!
The one thing you must never forget when you're considering a "do it yourself" job on your car is to always factor in Murphey's law, which in it's simplest of forms states: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I really wouldn't have a problem taking it to a mechanic. Expect for the 5 or 6 hundred dollar price tag. You know me always eager to save some hard earned money.
So I set out on what was to be a 24 hour journey spanning two days. 24 hours of sliding around on my back (which by the way now looks like I was a linching victim). 24 hours of rust and dirt falling in my face. 24 hours of busting my knuckles. 24 hours of a plethra of curse words which eventually just dumbed down to a repetative shout of S.O.B.
Lesson learned!! I will no longer atempt a heavy duty job like this unless: I have enough time, the proper tools, a good pair of gloves and a back-up vehicle.

Thank you for the Venom

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will

Implication:

I dont know the meaning of the word........or do I?

You know who you are.....
You know what to do.....

That's journeyMAN to you!

I finally took my state test today. A four hour grueling test, comprising of what could possibly the most boring written form of english compiled in one book. I breezed through most of the 80 questions but there were about 5 or 6 that really had me stumped. I finally said "what the hell" and turned in the results and......I passed, a good thing as it costs 100 dollars everytime you have to take it.
I haven't been this happy in a long time. I've had to go through 4 1/2 years of apprenticeship(most of the time I would tell people I was going to quit). I guess all that's left now is to do what electricians do best.....drink and blow their money on strippers.

The ass pirates have had me!

I'm glad that I can wake up every morning and look myself in the mirror, with dignity,knowing that I make an honest living. I thank the gods that I have not engorged myself on soda and cheetos while driving around downtown every night following my helpless victims. Watching them drive around in frustration, looking endlessly for a parking spot. I'm thankfull that I don't rub my hands in glee while drooling with delight as they park at the empty Jack-in the-crack parking lot at 9 pm while running over for ten minutes to pick up some Thai food to go. I would hold myself in contept if I stole peoples vehicles and held them for a ransom of 135 dollars and 46 cents plus the cost of cab fare to the middle of Bum Fuck Egypt.

Flipper died a natural death. He caught a nasty virus.

Viruses suck! I got one on my comp which deleted certain files from windows and now I can't access the internet. Don't ask me how I got this virus as I won't incriminate myself. Anyway I'm waiting on a friend to lend me his copy of Windows XP so I can reinstall.
I'm changing the poll. It appears that most of you prefer big boobies, or at least those who do, voted more. I'm disappointed with the poor showing that the Man-boob fans gave.

Cantankerous Captain Curmudgeon,
always swinging your bludgeon.
Dashing to pieces hopes and dreams.
What a terrible flail you fling.

With your untimely graying hair,
and your sad reddened stare.
With your stupid trembling hands,
and your crazy made up plans.

Constraining Captain Curmudgeon,
how long I've been in your dungeon.
Constantly you smother me.
I swear one day to bury thee.

So hold your head up high.
Rest your tired eyes.
Clench your trembling hands
and make the best of plans.

Callous Captain Curmudgeon,
always swinging your bludgeon.
Take your best shot at me,
your apathy will be the end of thee.

Betterman:

she lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man...
she dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
can't find a better man
can't find a better man



My advice(not that anyone would listen), is to not be the "better man". It's hard to think of a worse way to go through life. What a stupid noble creature. Instead, be one she lies awake thinking of at 3 am....The one that "sees her". While the blind better man lies asleep next to her exhausted from a long day of being the....Better Man.

Cogito, ergo doleo.

hi8us.........

Winter Olympics?

Today started out like most other Fridays...nothing out of the ordinary. Got to work 5 minutes late, which is pretty ordinary for me. The usual joking comments from co-workers when you arrive late. The usual long empty stare at the blue prints ( actually a refined art which involves bullshitting with a co-worker about the previous weekends exploits with an occasional hand gesture towards the ceiling as to give the appearance that you're actually doing some work).
Nine o'clock break came around and I sounded the "break horn"(actually a 5 foot long piece of pipe which I bent into the shape of a horn, which sounds like the one on 13th warrior). I bought the usual coke off the "Taco Truck" ( a grease ridden bread truck from which one can purchase a tantalizing assortment of fine Mexican rot-gut).
It was on the walk back from break that it hit me. Like the rumbling of distant thunder, it started at the top of my stomach. I brushed it off. "I'm sure it's nothing". "I'll just hold off 'till after I get off work". Besides, there was no way in hell that I was going to use the port-o-let.
For all those who don't know, a port-o-let (a.k.a port-o-john, crapper, shitter or Mexican swimming pool) is marketed as a portable waste management facility. In reality it's a portal or dimension-door which leads to the depths of hell. A glimpse of Lucipher's throne room, where the most vile and despicable imps are born and sent forth to torture the miserable inhabitants of the world above.
By the time I got back to my building the distant rumbling had turned into a war zone. Like a controlled demolition, the explosions moved down my stomach and into my bowels. I immediately began the 150 yard dash to the nearest group of port-o-lets. Time seemed to stand still for a moment. No matter how fast I went, it seemed I would never get there. The first of the two crappers was occupied. The second, well....some low-life had taken it upon himself to defecate on the seat. If I ever get my hands on them..... I scanned the job site for another bathroom. The nearest one was another 100 yards or so away. I begin to run again( queue chariots of fire theme). This one is empty and somewhat clean. After strategically placing some paper on the seat. I proceed to sit down and am hit by sub-freezing 20mph wind streaming down the vent pipe and onto bare skin( profanity ensued).
Needless to say my ordinary day ended up not so ordinary. When I find out who poisoned me, I swear there will be hell to pay!

Happy St. Valentines

It's Valentines day, and love is in the air(or the lack thereof). I'm sure this question has been asked many times, but I'd like to hear other opinions.

Can one really fall in love with someone they've never actually met?

You often will hear someone profess love for people they don't actually know i.e. heads of state, religious leaders, celebrities, internet acquaintances. I personally think it's a pile of rubbish, but I've been wrong before.

Some people say my blog can be depressing.......





............How 'bout them apples?

Hung!.....Over

Went down to 6th St. last night. Met up with my sister and a bunch of her really rich college friends. I have to say I was completely out of my element. Most of them ended up being pretty cool though.
It was freezing!
I drank way too much!
I don't remember much...
I normally only stick to beer and maybe some yager, but last night I threw all caution to the wind. Ended up drinking rum and coke, yager,and bourbon along with about 8 beers. Not a good mixture. Threw up for the first time in about 6 years.
Throwing up is a good time for pause and reflection, although the deepest thing that went through my mind was: I have a decent body and my face isn't entirely repulsive...Yeah!....so why don't the femmes mack on me?

The Won

With wind in my hair and sweat on my face,
I'm about to win this race.
With high ambition and god-like speed,
off my glory they will feed.
Here comes the finish line,
watch me fly by....Just behind that other guy.

No mater how high I jump,
no mater how fast I run,
I will never be THE ONE .
The gold on my neck will never gleam.
My anthem they will never sing.
For I am the one and only.....Next best thing.

Am I alone in here?

Knew you were here,
Sister confirms suspicions,
And beside the note,
You left on my bed
Where I held you so close.
Did you think I'd forget?
Couldn't be more of a mess,
For to breathe,
Used to be another way,
I'd take you in.

Well it's time to wake up,
And separate feelings
That I keep falling into.
Each seem like good reasons,
That I feel a break down,
I don't care if it shows up,
I'm praying this for you,
'Til it's answered I'll say.

Now it seems there's a choice,
That began with a break,
So today,
Know that never again,
Will I know you that way.


Am I alone in here?

GREAT!

Apparently I've been tagged....Along with everyone else in the blogging world. I didn't know I was in the game, although that's what this is all about.....A big game.

First of all,why am I posting about this? Who really gives a damn! Posting a list of my desired traits in a partner is really going to improve my chances?The truth is most us just breeze through these things looking for some reassurance that we have these damn traits that others find attractive. Of course we all think that we posses these traits, regardless of the truth. In truth if it happens ...It happens. Inevitably,we will settle for the bad along with the good. The lucky ones will learn not to care so much and the rest of us will just lie to ourselves.

I despise the notion of internet romance/dating!!! It's like buying a car because it looked cool on the commercial. What you see in not what you get. Even the MPG rating is usually a crock of optimistic crap.

So I will break it down to one trait, as I said before,the rest really doesn't matter.

1.)Just be a darling........And I will be too.

26 down...24 to go (if all goes well).

Ohm's Law

Time to crank start the old thought machine! State exam at the end of the month.

Rise and shine all you gold-digging mothers.
Are you too good to tango with a poor poor boy?

From the depths of your eyes, I can see they're all lies.
Yet I want to believe. Does that make me naive?

Oh but those eyes, those eyes...I am lost in those eyes.

So I'll shut myself off. No, I'll cut myself off.
The mind will protect what the heart would infect.

Oh but your eyes, your eyes...I am lost in your eyes.

So before I decree what my own doom will be,
let me reason the cause for my treason.

Oh but those eyes, those eyes....I am lost...

Tools/terms of the trade.

Hickey
Pecker Head
Wiggy
Strippers
Dykes
Rabbit Gun

.....and of course!
Beer:30

Anarchism?

I've noticed more and more lately the use of the term "Anarchy". Usually invoked by teenagers in what I assume is an attempt to emphasize their attachment to Punk Rock ideology. I dare say that in most cases the user of this term really has no idea what they're talking about. When I have asked the question "What is Anarchism?", a typical response would be..." It's like..Uhhh...nobody telling you what to do...man".
In reality Anarchism is a loose term that covers an array of political and religious ideologies. While I do admire some of the great thinkers that held some of these beliefs, such as Tolstoy, I have to say that in a practical sense it would never work. In it's simplest forms Anarchism, like Communism, and other utopian ideologies relies on the "goodness of human nature". We all know where that can and usually does lead. Besides, when all is said and done someone/thing will always rise to the top and lead or take control. Unfortunately it's usually the man with the biggest club or largest nuclear arsenal.

After the onset of Alzheimer's Grandma's cooking just wasn't what it used to be.

When in Rome....

Damn thieves

Tonight while leaving school,I walked to the parking lot and immediately noticed that my truck was gone. My heart sank. I had heard stories from friends who have had their vehicles stolen, but nothing really prepares you for the feeling. Just my f#@king luck!!!! While out with a friend last month, she showed me how my truck could easily be started just by turning the ignition the right way. I went to call the police on my cell and remembered that I had left it in the truck. Now I faced a long walk to the gas station to call the cops. I looked around the parking lot to see if any of my classmates where still there. I noticed a couple friends talking at the opposite end. I walked over and asked them if they had seen my truck. "Yeah, you parked it in the back by the dumpster". What? In all the years I've been going to this school I have never once parked in the back. Am I losing my mind? It was then that I remembered that when I went to break, my keys had been moved from one side of my desk to the other. Bastards!!! I felt completely relieved that I had only been a victim of a joke. I walked around the building and sure enough it was there. This definitely call for some PAYBACK!

Happy Birthday to TLOG!

Tomorrow my blog turns one year old! What a year....from hell mainly(sprinkled lightly with pleasantries). The Land of Gaga has seen some tumultuous times to say the least. It's once pleasant landscapes lay plundered and burnt, It's once proud cities lay in ruin. However it must be rebuilt! If I only had the cognitive skills....
Anyway, here's to another blissful year of blogging!( or until I get bored of it)

Emo's

Went out last night to catch a few local Austin bands play. There were actually several bands playing, Zykos being one of the better ones along with I Love You, But I've Chosen Darkness(great name by the way) and What Made Milwakee Famous. It seems a lot of Indie-Rock bands are using these mouthfull names now.

Etymology

Here is a fun little game.
I played it last week while stuck a home caring for a sick little girl. Helps if you're bored out of your mind.

Bachelor life.

One of the down sides to being single, for me at least, is a lack of back rubs. How I miss them! Even in the waning last few months of married life I could get one. Even if it required lies, guilt trips, or outright blackmail. I catch myself eyeing protruding corners, door knobs, or the back of chairs to rub my back on....Oh how the mighty have fallen.

9/11

I found this documentary on the internet today. Thought it was very interesting, and as skeptical as I am, I found it believable. The quality is poor and it's an hour long, but if you have the time, you might find it interesting to.

Dilemma

Atrocity! Atrocity!
A crime has been committed here, you see.
While asleep on my bed.
someone wrote upon my head.
With permanent ink or magic marker.
This cursed word only gets darker.
S-T-U-P-I-D. You see?
Who could have done this?
I think......ME

Makes me wanna.....

To Public Enemy No.1:

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head
You feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best, try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away

It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right.

Madagascar

"What is a simple bite on the buttox amongst friends?"-King Julian XIII

Beloved Apollo, for what trespass are we banished?

Hell(Texas) has frozen over!...

Yesterday I locked the keys in my truck, while it was running. The reason I left it running was because I was afraid the truck wouldn't restart once I turned it off, as the battery was shot. It took half an hour in the freezing rain to pry the window open. This compounded by the fact that I had also left my gloves in the cab.

My troubles have only begun...

After dropping the kids off at their mom's, I attempt to restart the truck...Nothing!
A few choice words later( followed by a pissed off stare into the bleak nothingness that surrounds my soul), I walk over to the apartment where a local systemite agrees to drive me down to the auto parts store so I can exchange the truck battery for a new one.
The trek to O'rielly's was a perilous one. We stuck to the access roads to avoid icy overpasses and flyovers. We pass one wreck after another. Still we push on. The police have the upper deck of the highway closed off along with the road in front of the auto parts store. This truly was a night of mayhem....I cautiously grip the hilt of the Katana at my side. We find an alternate entrance.
At the store I exchange the battery, pick up some new wiper blades, and get some de-icing spray( worthless). I figured I was forgetting something but, couldn't remember what. So we returned home and finished the cold-wet-dark job of reinstalling the battery. Sleep was sweet.

Salvation on thin ice....

I wake up at 6:15...Late! Rush down the slick stairs and to the truck. Quickly I spray the windows with de-icer. It only leaves the windows cloudy. I start the truck and proceed to drive with my head partially out the window Ace Ventura style.
Most of the motorist around me are driving a cautious 45 mph , but I'm making great time whizzing in and out of traffic. My attention is drawn to the "check gauge" light on the instrument panel. It was then that I notice the temperature meter is completely in the red. Oh f@#k! I pull over to the shoulder, witch is basically an ice patch, and slide for about 50 feet. Once out, I pop the hood. Sure enough, the radiator was frozen!"Oh God please don't let the head be cracked". Meanwhile, tractor trailers and cars a flying passed. I realize that I'm in an extremely dangerous spot, so I wait for the engine to cool a little and move to a gas station at the next exit.
At the gas station I start filling cups up with hot water from the coffee machine and then pore them into the radiator , while letting it drain out the bottom side. I did this for the next hour. Inquisitive gas station customers would ask me what I was doing. I'd have to explain myself over and over. A mechanic approached me and said that I would have to get it towed to a dealership, where they would have to leave it in the garage for four or five hours before it would defrost sufficiently. He laughed when I asked if hot water would do the trick."I'll show you...Stupid mechanic".
I had to walk over to the next gas station to get some antifreeze, as they had sold out. The Indian clerk wanted 10 bucks for a gallon of premixed anti-freeze and water."It is precisely the best you can get", he said. "It's rated for temperatures of -34 degrees". I just need something for like 20 degrees. "sounds a lot like price gauging" I thought.
Once back at the truck I filled the radiator up and said a default prayer."God, if you love me....Or at least admire me...Or just feel sorry for me, then please don't let the head be cracked". I started the engine then watched the gauge. It stayed cool!
Yes!!!!
I guess God does love me!!..Or at least admires me!.. Or just feels sorry for me.

Catch me if you can.

After much deliberation, I have concluded that the only hobby I can afford right now is running.
So It starts, tomorrow at 5 am...Ok maybe 5:15, I will hit the streets. Donned in my newly acquired jogging pants and a sweater or two, I will run with vigor( I'd better... It's freezing out there). Try and catch me now.....you bastard creditors!

Oh the Welsh!

It seems a Welsh inventor has come up with a contraption that emits a sound at a very high frequency. Apparently, most people over the age 30 can't hear sound at this frequency, and the product is being used to keep loitering teenagers away from malls and stores. We under 30ers have had a product for keeping old people away for quite some time now. It's a little thing called Rock!
Anyway, I hear the Welsh government is working on a proto-type of this teenage repelling device that can be mounted on the posterior of the local sheep. It would be a godsend really!

Blues

It’s all wrong, but it’s all right.
The way that you treat me baby.
Once I was strong but I lost the fight.
You won’t find a better loser.

Hot hot heat has me beat.

Went down to Emo's last night to see the HHH. Found out that they didn't come on 'till 12 a.m. It wouldn't be a big deal except I'm a working stiff, have to leave the house by 6:30 for work. We had already bought the tickets so we stayed.
During the show feisty little Charlock in a desperate attempt to be noticed, was trying to squeeze her way to the stage, to no avail( although if she wanted to she could be the perfect groupie). So I being a gentlemanly barbarian, obliged to hoist her on my shoulders. This wouldn't have been a bad idea except that this required using muscles that have been unused for quite sometime. I can already feel the soreness settling in.
The Hot Hot Heat put on an awesome show. We didn't get home 'till around 2 a.m., but it was worth it.

Happy ThanksG!

I hope all had a great National Day of Gluttony! A day for all to engorge themselves (and for bringing families together).
For those that didn't get enough, we set aside today, and gave it the name "Black Friday". A day for the best of us to debase ourselves by waiting greedily in line all night to "save" usually on cheap electronics. I have heard countless horror ridden tales of desperation,lies, treachery and false advertising.
I hope that I will able to spend all the coming Black Fridays sleeping-in, nursing a wicked hangover.

Oath

I make a vow to the remaining gods that I shall clean my room.........tomorrow.
I'd better! (mom will be over for thanksgiving)

Library Card.

Went down and got me a certified library card. Once the appropriate paper work was filled out I received my brand-new shiny card. The only dilemma was I couldn't figure out what I wanted to read. So much to choose from...... Any suggestions?

Chinee takee outee

Today I am no longer a delivery boy.....I'm a delivery Man! Actually no, after a year and a half of delivering Chinese food every weekend I finally quit. The price will be steep but....all work and no play( yada yada).
Now the great question is what will I do with the time? Thinking of(dare I say it) a hobby. I was thinking of buying a kayak and exploring the river ways. I could get into rock climbing , although I'd have to find a rock worthy of climbing first. I could drink a lot of mountain dew and become Xtreme. Start hang gliding, mountain unicycling, base jumping, etc.( chicks love that crap....I think)....Or I could just clean my room...Fat chance!

Aslan is on the move!

Hark! All ye he beavers!(and she beavers)The mighty Aslan arrives in less than a month. Guess I'd better go down and buy a tent..... Hmmm I wonder why they aren't making a movie of the Wheel of time? (such lamo nerds).

Bed half made.

I finally forced myself to finish the bed frame I started over a month ago. I'm over half done. After making a few cuts with the power saw I realized that it was after 9:30 pm and I was making way too much noise.
The bed did come out looking a little taller than expected. Oh well, just another reason to stop sleepwalking.

Note to self :

Some say I'm losing too much weight.
Advice from wise friend: "Eat more, poop less."

1984

I came across this old pic the other day. Seems like a life time ago! How did my old man ever get the ladies?

Little Lord Systemite

The Holidays are almost here! It's always a wonderful time. It makes you count your blessings and want to do "good deeds" like making cookies for poor orphan street children!



Little greedy systemites can seldom be trusted though! As soon as you turn your head, they'll rob you blind!

Vedder says it better!

To all those we miss:

"Around The Bend"

i'm wishing you a-well
mind at peace within your cell
covers up, i cast you off
i'll be watching as you breathe
i lie still, you move
i send you off around the bend
i hold your head deep in my arms
my fingertips they close your eyes
off you dream, my little child
there's a sun around the bend (yes)
there's a sun around the bend
all the evenings close like this
all these moments that i've missed
please forgive me, won't you, dear?
please forgive and let me share...with you around the bend
you're an angel when you sleep
how i want your soul to keep
on and on around the bend

Primal beings

Last night I walked in my sleep. I haven't done it in a long time, but when I woke this morning I was on the floor. The weird thing was that I had my blanket and pillow with me. My back was pried up against the door as if I had been trying to stop something or someone from entering. I had a feeling that I was there for an important purpose. It sort of reminded me of when that game I used to play as a kid. The one where you make yourself hyperventilate and pass out and when you slowly awake, you feel like you've been there forever. Anyway, some would swear I suffer from mild schizophrenia. I would disagree ( I would agree!).

A little idea.

Here's a little ditty I wrote . ( Jason, you can write a song on NotePad.)

Lessons lost on dynamics of dynamos.
Hours spent on senseless prose.
With thoughts so calibrated, perhaps I've overstated.
How this game has led me on.

But fashion automatic has got me lost.
'Cause all this excess comes at no small cost.
Charge it up and cash it in.
Do you think it's all in sin?

Words will come around and silence every sound.
In all this where can I be found?
This power generated has left me so frustrated.
How this game has led me on.

But passion automatic has done me wrong.
cause all these feelings come at no small cost.
Light it up and burn it out.
Did you ever have a doubt?

Where angels fear to tread.

The previous occupant of my apartment was a brunette! A woman preferably, but it could have also been a man with long hair. This is how I know....
While taking a shower today I noticed that the water was backing up. This has been happening since I moved in, but being the procrastinator that I am, I have been putting off fixing the problem. Today however I reached the breaking point. The tub was filling and not going down. I looked around the bath room for a plunger.... None. I couldn't leave the bathroom as I wasn't decent and people were over. I tried cupping my hands over the drain to make a Mexican plunger.... Nothing happened. At this point I knew what had to be done. Only a man who was sure of himself, who has balls, could do what needed to be done a "man of the hour".
I closed my eyes. Stretched my shaking hand down towards the ominous drain. I slowly insert my index finger . The mass my finger encounters is truly terrible. I struggle to hold back the regirge as I quickly pull the wad out. The ball of hair is the largest most disgusting one I have ever seen. Long brown hair... Definitely not mine. Along with a lot of other stuff. I'm sure there were several distinct DNA strands intertwind in the hideous glob.
Anyway, the drain works great now. Thanks to the work of one brave man who "would".

Note to self :

A foot long chili cheese dog with mustard is never a good idea.... Even if it's free. One must always pay the fiddler. Usually about 45 min after the fact.

More PJ

A man lies in his bed in a room with no door
He waits, hoping for a presence or something, anything to enter
After spending half his life searching
He still felt as blank as the ceiling at which he stared
He is alive, but feels absolutely nothing, so is he?
When he was six, he believed that the moon overhead followed him
By nine, he deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact, no trade-backs
So this is what it's like to be an adult?
If he only knew now what he knew then
I'm open
Come in
I'm open
Come in
Lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers
He decides to dream...Dream up a new self...For himself

JOY!

I found 45 dollars in a pair of shorts that I had left at the bottom of the ever growing dirty laundry pile in my closet. God just may exist!!! .... Or at least he doesn't always want to see me suffer! Although this may just be a set up for some disaster. ie with the 45 dollars (ok, one of the 45 dollars)I buy a rotten double cheese burger at Mc donalds and die an agonizing death....ALONE! Really the scenarios are endless.

Fat boy off roads!

Fat balding Mexican man likes to try and make fun of me at work. Mainly because of the fact that I'm going through a separation at the moment( at least that's what he considers my easiest target). "If you knew how to lay pipe like a real man, she wouldn't have left you". "Probably" I reply. Seeing that I'm not being bothered by his attempts he states " You see, I'm just a pimp". Coming from a guy we often refer to as "Shrek" or "Silverback"( as in gorilla) I tell him " I guess just about anyone can be a pimp these days. I mean don't they have a minimum standard you have to pass before you can become a pimp?". I look down to see that Shrek has served himself a large portion of eggs, biscuits and gravy from the cafeteria. I ask him if they've told him yet. "Told me what?"... "Told you if you're having twins or triplets?". " F#$k you!" he replies. He then proceeds to call me several other names while stating the fact that I'm just a little S#*t, and that I just don't get it. I turn to look down at the newspaper I had been reading before he sat down. Shrek then grabs the paper from my hands and begins reading. " You have to the count of three to return my paper, fat boy". He does nothing. I take his cup of sprite. "When you give me back the paper then you get your sprite back". He still does nothing. So I wait till he starts talking to someone else( with a mouth full of food) and I grab the paper back. I then proceed to leave the table. Meanwhile he starts telling everyone around that he's going to kick my ass.
The day goes on and every once in a while a swing by Shrek's work area and remind him of the ass kicking that I was promised and asked him when it would be, as my schedule for the rest of the day was pretty busy. He grew more and more upset each time. Around clean up time I see Shrek sneaking out to the parking lot early. I shake my head disapprovingly. Eventually all the tools are cleaned up and I head out.
On the way out , I notice a long line of traffic trying to make it's way onto the highway. "Must be another accident". I finally make my way to the intersection. I see an SUV had tried to cut around the little Honda in front of it, and had instead driven up the side of the Honda. A little old Filipino woman emerges from the Honda. she's ok but visibly shaken. I notice someone trying to get out of the SUV. Lo and behold Shrek comes falling out of the SUV. I Laugh. I laugh hysterically. Other co-workers drive up as well and begin laughing. Shrek covers his face in shame. ....... I must have laughed the whole way home.

Post office robbery!

Yesterday I stopped by the post office to mail off some bills. I walked up to the stamp vending machine to buy a stamp. As usual they offer single stamps or books of stamps. Having only 35 cents in change,(a single stamp is 37 cents, they also sell 23 cent stamps which is absurd because it costs 37 cents to mail a standard envelope) I am forced to go to the next highest price, which happens to be a dollar and 30 cents. So I deposit a dollar bill , a quarter and a dime. Sure enough, the damn machine doesn't want MY dime, so I am forced to deposit another dollar bill. The stamp booklet proceeds to fall down to the slot, along comes the change... Sounds like way too much! I reach my hand into the change dispenser, to find all my change has been returned in nickels .... G@# Damn!!! The last thing I want at this moment is to have to put 14 nickels in my pocket and jingle around the rest of the day." I got it!! I'll buy a couple more stamps with the nickels!"... I proceed to place nickels in the coin slot. Of course the piece of crap only takes one nickel and sends all the rest down to the change dispenser." F#$king piece of garbage!!!!". " Of course I have to try one more time. I reach down to the change dispenser...... My attention is drawn to the sound of two children running towards me. ( a boy about 4 or 5 and a girl about 7 or 8) They then proceed to push their hands around mine and both are trying to get at the precious nickels.
I, in shock, am also still trying to get MY nickels back. The boy having grabbed a few, turns around, grabs onto the crotch of my jeans and begins to hanging on me. At this point I'm freaking out. Not sure what to do exactly..If I remove the kids hands from my pants I risk being placed in a very Michael Jackson like setting i.e my hands on boys arm who's hand is on" that area" of my pants. I scan the line at the other end of the building, looking for signs of a parent, however no one seems to want to own up to the children. "I must make my way out of here fast." I thought to myself! Just then I hear the voice of the mother! She grabs the boy off of me and swats him, while scolding him in Spanish. The boy arches his back and throws himself on the floor. The nickels fall on the floor and another fight ensues between the children over the nickels on the floor. I turn around deposit my mail and take off. I think I'll try paying my bills online next time!

Wake me up when September ends.

I seemed to have lost all vision!! I have so much to do but I don't really don't seem to care if it gets done! This applies to almost all aspects of my life right now bills, home improvements , cleaning my damn room, homework, car repairs etc. It seems the world around me has torn up the carcass of my soul and taken the pieces off to dark corners where it will be lustfully fought over. (ok, a little exaggerated) The sad thing about it is I will wake up tomorrow fall back into routine and do it all over again.
I am incapable of having a good time! The other night I got of work a little early, so I thought I'd head down town to see a band or go to a bar. After a few minutes I turned around and went home to work on the electrical outlets in the living room. Sad!! I guess it would have helped if I went with a group of friends.

Bachelor pad

I recently moved into my very own room. Great! I as a kid I always wanted a room of my own, but now that I actually have one, I have no idea what to do with it.
Currently my furniture consists of a double mattress on the floor in the corner, a computer desk, an empty shelf, a TV, VCR and DVD strewn about the floor along with several piles of clean and unclean clothes. I also have an green and white checkered area rug in the middle of the room.
I have been trying to come up with good Ideas ,but being a male , I think I have a mental block when it comes to decorating. I was thinking of putting up Pearl Jam posters but I think that will just come off looking either like I'm hitting a mid life crisis at 25 or that I haven't grown up at all.
Anyway, I thought I might pick peoples brains and see if anyone had cool themes or ideas for a room that I could do "on the cheap". I'm sure I won't be disappointed!!!

Back to school!

Late for school.....
100 degrees....
Bolt falls of caliper...
F$#king car...

Balls to the wall

I've been trying to get the house ready to rent. Yes, that does require moving out, wich is something I swore I wouldn't be doing for a long time( gods! I curse thee!). At the same time the job I'm on has moved into overtime, wich means six at least 68 hours this week. I won't have a day off of work for at least three weeks!.................Why does the feces always have to hit the ventilator all at once?

sleight of hand

Routine was the theme. He'd wake up wash and pour himself into uniform.
Something he hadn't imagined being.
As the merging traffic passed he found himself staring down at his own hands.
Not remembering the change. Not recalling the plan. Was it?

He was okay but wondering about wandering.
Was it age by consequence or was he moved by sleight of hand?

Mondays were made to fall. Lost on a road he knew by heart.
It was like a book he read in his sleep. Endlessly.
Sometimes he hid in the radio watching other pull into their homes.
While he was drifting.

On a line of his own. Off the line of the side. Bye the by.
As dirt turned to sand. As if moved by sleight of hand.

When he reached the shore of his clip on world he resurfaced to the norm.
Organized his few things. His coat and keys.
And he knew realizations would have to wait.
Till he had more time. More time.

A time to dream to himself. He waves goodbye to his self.
I'll see you on the other side.
Another man moved by slight of hand.

---Vedder, Amnet.

One for the road

I just Heard a new song from the band Rise Against. It's called "swing Life away". I want to dedicate it to Heidi of "Cafein and me" fame. She has been a great friend, she also happens to be my wife.

Barbarian rides again!

I have finally returned from my self-imposed exile. Life has been crazy for the past few months. Anyway....... I'm Back!!!!

Fried Fish

After arriving home from work today, I noticed that I had forgotten to turn the lamp to my fish tank on in the morning. As I turned the lights on, I soon realized to my horror that all four of my African chiclids were dead. Their bodies strewn across the tank landscape, as if they had been stricken down by an angry Neptune. Their mouths frozen open to reveal the true horror of their final moments. Their once brilliant colors had been stolen from them and all that remained was the pale grey of death. The only sign of life left in the tank was lowly plecostamus. The bottom feeding sucker fish had some how escaped the clutches of death. It was as if the Fish reaper had passed over and upon seeing the hideousness of this fish, decided he was tortured enough.

I immediately began searching for the cause of this genocide. Had someone unplugged the filter? No! The filter was still running... Maybe someone had accidentally knocked some bleach or other cleaner in the water? No... There was nothing like that around. I leaned my hand on the glass... It was hot way too hot. It suddenly came to me. Somehow when my brother and I moved the tank the day before, the setting on the tank heater was changed, and the fish had slowly began to cook overnight.

I couldn't stand the thought of having an empty fish tank so I got the kids in the car and went down to the fish store and dropped another 40 bucks on some more chiclids. I guess all that's left now is to give the dead fish a proper burial and send them home via the great white porcelain altar.

Expanded vocabulary.

A few weeks ago while listening to Love Lines on the radio, they had an English woman call in. Somehow the term "buggering"was used followed by a brief explanation of the meaning of the word. My jaw dropped in horror. I then proceeded to laugh out of sheer embarrassment. I had up till then erroneously thought that the word meant "a beating" and had been threatening co-workers in a cockney accent that if they didn't do as I say they would get "a good buggering".

Hell

It rained again today................mud!!!!

I could live a thousand years in a world without mud.

Mud is depression in physical form....

It slowly will eat away at your inner joy, until all that's left is more mud....

Mud that clings to your boots like the hands of daemons reaching up from hell, draining the life from your tiring muscles....

Mud that soaks through to your socks numbing your imprisoned feet, while leaving a fowl smell. A smell so terrible that you could be certain Lucifer had risen from his pit and licked your feet.

Kings of Leon

A few weeks ago while listening to the local generic alt-rock station, I heard the DJ anounce that it was time to call in and win some tickets. I rarely ever win anything, but being a closet case optimist, I figured I give it a shot. Amazingly I was " caller X" ( that would be the number 10 for all you non-romans out there). The DJ then proceded to tell me that I had won a pair of tickets to see the Kings of Leon and that I was qualified for a drawing in wich one lucky contestant would win along with other things, a VW beetle, an apartment , movie tickets, concert tickets, beer. etc.
I show up about a week later for the schedualed drawing. I was one of about 130 other lucky individuals who got the chance to be enticed with all the free thirts, key chains, and energy drinks that we young consumers so love. After a couple hours of waiting around for the drawing they finally had us all get in pick a number and then line up according to the number drawn. I happen to be 80. Once the line had been formed, wich took a good 20 minutes, we were supposed to pick a key out of a bucket and try it out on a door. As luck would have it, I had no sooner said" watch the first guy in line win! but what are the odds of that?" to the guy next to me, when it happened!!! Needless to say the whole crowd was pissed.
The Kings of Leon finally came to town last weekend. Heidi didn't seem to impressed when I
let her hear a few tracks of the their CD , but she wanted to come anyway. It ended up being a kick ass show, one of the best live performances we had been to. The opening act "The Features" were awsome too. I think Heidi will be a big fan of King of Leon from now on.

Happy Birthday to me!!!

For all who didn't know my birthday was on the fourth. Can't believe I've been marooned on this planet for 25 years.
My bro and his wife came up from Houston to celebrate. We all went down to 6th street( the local club district here in A. town).Had a good time. We hit a bar where a decent ska band was playing, played some pool, but eventually had to high tail it once a different Band Fronted by the best 300 lb female guitarist that I had ever seen. The problem wasn't this woman's weight and not that she lacked talent as a guitarist, but her voice I have to say was definitely the most annoying sound I have heard long time. After we left we walked up and down the street, being that it was also Mardi Gras,there were throngs of desperate men clad in beads and expensive digital cameras hoping to catch their own little piece of "Girls gone wild". Sadly for them the desperate guy to girl ratio was so high that even the ugly girls were making them barter their best beads for a shot of boobage. We eventually finished the night of at coyote ugly's @ 2 a.m.
All that to say I had great 25th, although I'm still waiting for the great yet perhaps mythical insurance discount" that everyone mentions when you tell them how old you're turning.