hi8us.........

Winter Olympics?

Today started out like most other Fridays...nothing out of the ordinary. Got to work 5 minutes late, which is pretty ordinary for me. The usual joking comments from co-workers when you arrive late. The usual long empty stare at the blue prints ( actually a refined art which involves bullshitting with a co-worker about the previous weekends exploits with an occasional hand gesture towards the ceiling as to give the appearance that you're actually doing some work).
Nine o'clock break came around and I sounded the "break horn"(actually a 5 foot long piece of pipe which I bent into the shape of a horn, which sounds like the one on 13th warrior). I bought the usual coke off the "Taco Truck" ( a grease ridden bread truck from which one can purchase a tantalizing assortment of fine Mexican rot-gut).
It was on the walk back from break that it hit me. Like the rumbling of distant thunder, it started at the top of my stomach. I brushed it off. "I'm sure it's nothing". "I'll just hold off 'till after I get off work". Besides, there was no way in hell that I was going to use the port-o-let.
For all those who don't know, a port-o-let (a.k.a port-o-john, crapper, shitter or Mexican swimming pool) is marketed as a portable waste management facility. In reality it's a portal or dimension-door which leads to the depths of hell. A glimpse of Lucipher's throne room, where the most vile and despicable imps are born and sent forth to torture the miserable inhabitants of the world above.
By the time I got back to my building the distant rumbling had turned into a war zone. Like a controlled demolition, the explosions moved down my stomach and into my bowels. I immediately began the 150 yard dash to the nearest group of port-o-lets. Time seemed to stand still for a moment. No matter how fast I went, it seemed I would never get there. The first of the two crappers was occupied. The second, well....some low-life had taken it upon himself to defecate on the seat. If I ever get my hands on them..... I scanned the job site for another bathroom. The nearest one was another 100 yards or so away. I begin to run again( queue chariots of fire theme). This one is empty and somewhat clean. After strategically placing some paper on the seat. I proceed to sit down and am hit by sub-freezing 20mph wind streaming down the vent pipe and onto bare skin( profanity ensued).
Needless to say my ordinary day ended up not so ordinary. When I find out who poisoned me, I swear there will be hell to pay!

Happy St. Valentines

It's Valentines day, and love is in the air(or the lack thereof). I'm sure this question has been asked many times, but I'd like to hear other opinions.

Can one really fall in love with someone they've never actually met?

You often will hear someone profess love for people they don't actually know i.e. heads of state, religious leaders, celebrities, internet acquaintances. I personally think it's a pile of rubbish, but I've been wrong before.

Some people say my blog can be depressing.......





............How 'bout them apples?

Hung!.....Over

Went down to 6th St. last night. Met up with my sister and a bunch of her really rich college friends. I have to say I was completely out of my element. Most of them ended up being pretty cool though.
It was freezing!
I drank way too much!
I don't remember much...
I normally only stick to beer and maybe some yager, but last night I threw all caution to the wind. Ended up drinking rum and coke, yager,and bourbon along with about 8 beers. Not a good mixture. Threw up for the first time in about 6 years.
Throwing up is a good time for pause and reflection, although the deepest thing that went through my mind was: I have a decent body and my face isn't entirely repulsive...Yeah!....so why don't the femmes mack on me?

The Won

With wind in my hair and sweat on my face,
I'm about to win this race.
With high ambition and god-like speed,
off my glory they will feed.
Here comes the finish line,
watch me fly by....Just behind that other guy.

No mater how high I jump,
no mater how fast I run,
I will never be THE ONE .
The gold on my neck will never gleam.
My anthem they will never sing.
For I am the one and only.....Next best thing.

Am I alone in here?

Knew you were here,
Sister confirms suspicions,
And beside the note,
You left on my bed
Where I held you so close.
Did you think I'd forget?
Couldn't be more of a mess,
For to breathe,
Used to be another way,
I'd take you in.

Well it's time to wake up,
And separate feelings
That I keep falling into.
Each seem like good reasons,
That I feel a break down,
I don't care if it shows up,
I'm praying this for you,
'Til it's answered I'll say.

Now it seems there's a choice,
That began with a break,
So today,
Know that never again,
Will I know you that way.


Am I alone in here?

GREAT!

Apparently I've been tagged....Along with everyone else in the blogging world. I didn't know I was in the game, although that's what this is all about.....A big game.

First of all,why am I posting about this? Who really gives a damn! Posting a list of my desired traits in a partner is really going to improve my chances?The truth is most us just breeze through these things looking for some reassurance that we have these damn traits that others find attractive. Of course we all think that we posses these traits, regardless of the truth. In truth if it happens ...It happens. Inevitably,we will settle for the bad along with the good. The lucky ones will learn not to care so much and the rest of us will just lie to ourselves.

I despise the notion of internet romance/dating!!! It's like buying a car because it looked cool on the commercial. What you see in not what you get. Even the MPG rating is usually a crock of optimistic crap.

So I will break it down to one trait, as I said before,the rest really doesn't matter.

1.)Just be a darling........And I will be too.

26 down...24 to go (if all goes well).

Ohm's Law

Time to crank start the old thought machine! State exam at the end of the month.

Rise and shine all you gold-digging mothers.
Are you too good to tango with a poor poor boy?