Monday, October 31, 2005

Vedder says it better!

To all those we miss:

"Around The Bend"

i'm wishing you a-well
mind at peace within your cell
covers up, i cast you off
i'll be watching as you breathe
i lie still, you move
i send you off around the bend
i hold your head deep in my arms
my fingertips they close your eyes
off you dream, my little child
there's a sun around the bend (yes)
there's a sun around the bend
all the evenings close like this
all these moments that i've missed
please forgive me, won't you, dear?
please forgive and let me share...with you around the bend
you're an angel when you sleep
how i want your soul to keep
on and on around the bend

Friday, October 28, 2005

Primal beings

Last night I walked in my sleep. I haven't done it in a long time, but when I woke this morning I was on the floor. The weird thing was that I had my blanket and pillow with me. My back was pried up against the door as if I had been trying to stop something or someone from entering. I had a feeling that I was there for an important purpose. It sort of reminded me of when that game I used to play as a kid. The one where you make yourself hyperventilate and pass out and when you slowly awake, you feel like you've been there forever. Anyway, some would swear I suffer from mild schizophrenia. I would disagree ( I would agree!).

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A little idea.

Here's a little ditty I wrote . ( Jason, you can write a song on NotePad.)

Lessons lost on dynamics of dynamos.
Hours spent on senseless prose.
With thoughts so calibrated, perhaps I've overstated.
How this game has led me on.

But fashion automatic has got me lost.
'Cause all this excess comes at no small cost.
Charge it up and cash it in.
Do you think it's all in sin?

Words will come around and silence every sound.
In all this where can I be found?
This power generated has left me so frustrated.
How this game has led me on.

But passion automatic has done me wrong.
cause all these feelings come at no small cost.
Light it up and burn it out.
Did you ever have a doubt?

Friday, October 21, 2005

Where angels fear to tread.

The previous occupant of my apartment was a brunette! A woman preferably, but it could have also been a man with long hair. This is how I know....
While taking a shower today I noticed that the water was backing up. This has been happening since I moved in, but being the procrastinator that I am, I have been putting off fixing the problem. Today however I reached the breaking point. The tub was filling and not going down. I looked around the bath room for a plunger.... None. I couldn't leave the bathroom as I wasn't decent and people were over. I tried cupping my hands over the drain to make a Mexican plunger.... Nothing happened. At this point I knew what had to be done. Only a man who was sure of himself, who has balls, could do what needed to be done a "man of the hour".
I closed my eyes. Stretched my shaking hand down towards the ominous drain. I slowly insert my index finger . The mass my finger encounters is truly terrible. I struggle to hold back the regirge as I quickly pull the wad out. The ball of hair is the largest most disgusting one I have ever seen. Long brown hair... Definitely not mine. Along with a lot of other stuff. I'm sure there were several distinct DNA strands intertwind in the hideous glob.
Anyway, the drain works great now. Thanks to the work of one brave man who "would".

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Note to self :

A foot long chili cheese dog with mustard is never a good idea.... Even if it's free. One must always pay the fiddler. Usually about 45 min after the fact.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

More PJ

A man lies in his bed in a room with no door
He waits, hoping for a presence or something, anything to enter
After spending half his life searching
He still felt as blank as the ceiling at which he stared
He is alive, but feels absolutely nothing, so is he?
When he was six, he believed that the moon overhead followed him
By nine, he deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact, no trade-backs
So this is what it's like to be an adult?
If he only knew now what he knew then
I'm open
Come in
I'm open
Come in
Lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers
He decides to dream...Dream up a new self...For himself

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

JOY!

I found 45 dollars in a pair of shorts that I had left at the bottom of the ever growing dirty laundry pile in my closet. God just may exist!!! .... Or at least he doesn't always want to see me suffer! Although this may just be a set up for some disaster. ie with the 45 dollars (ok, one of the 45 dollars)I buy a rotten double cheese burger at Mc donalds and die an agonizing death....ALONE! Really the scenarios are endless.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Fat boy off roads!

Fat balding Mexican man likes to try and make fun of me at work. Mainly because of the fact that I'm going through a separation at the moment( at least that's what he considers my easiest target). "If you knew how to lay pipe like a real man, she wouldn't have left you". "Probably" I reply. Seeing that I'm not being bothered by his attempts he states " You see, I'm just a pimp". Coming from a guy we often refer to as "Shrek" or "Silverback"( as in gorilla) I tell him " I guess just about anyone can be a pimp these days. I mean don't they have a minimum standard you have to pass before you can become a pimp?". I look down to see that Shrek has served himself a large portion of eggs, biscuits and gravy from the cafeteria. I ask him if they've told him yet. "Told me what?"... "Told you if you're having twins or triplets?". " F#$k you!" he replies. He then proceeds to call me several other names while stating the fact that I'm just a little S#*t, and that I just don't get it. I turn to look down at the newspaper I had been reading before he sat down. Shrek then grabs the paper from my hands and begins reading. " You have to the count of three to return my paper, fat boy". He does nothing. I take his cup of sprite. "When you give me back the paper then you get your sprite back". He still does nothing. So I wait till he starts talking to someone else( with a mouth full of food) and I grab the paper back. I then proceed to leave the table. Meanwhile he starts telling everyone around that he's going to kick my ass.
The day goes on and every once in a while a swing by Shrek's work area and remind him of the ass kicking that I was promised and asked him when it would be, as my schedule for the rest of the day was pretty busy. He grew more and more upset each time. Around clean up time I see Shrek sneaking out to the parking lot early. I shake my head disapprovingly. Eventually all the tools are cleaned up and I head out.
On the way out , I notice a long line of traffic trying to make it's way onto the highway. "Must be another accident". I finally make my way to the intersection. I see an SUV had tried to cut around the little Honda in front of it, and had instead driven up the side of the Honda. A little old Filipino woman emerges from the Honda. she's ok but visibly shaken. I notice someone trying to get out of the SUV. Lo and behold Shrek comes falling out of the SUV. I Laugh. I laugh hysterically. Other co-workers drive up as well and begin laughing. Shrek covers his face in shame. ....... I must have laughed the whole way home.