Saturday, December 31, 2005

9/11

I found this documentary on the internet today. Thought it was very interesting, and as skeptical as I am, I found it believable. The quality is poor and it's an hour long, but if you have the time, you might find it interesting to.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Dilemma

Atrocity! Atrocity!
A crime has been committed here, you see.
While asleep on my bed.
someone wrote upon my head.
With permanent ink or magic marker.
This cursed word only gets darker.
S-T-U-P-I-D. You see?
Who could have done this?
I think......ME

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

To Public Enemy No.1:

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head
You feel left out or looked down on
Just try your best, try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away

It just takes some time, little girl
You're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Madagascar

"What is a simple bite on the buttox amongst friends?"-King Julian XIII

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Beloved Apollo, for what trespass are we banished?

Hell(Texas) has frozen over!...

Yesterday I locked the keys in my truck, while it was running. The reason I left it running was because I was afraid the truck wouldn't restart once I turned it off, as the battery was shot. It took half an hour in the freezing rain to pry the window open. This compounded by the fact that I had also left my gloves in the cab.

My troubles have only begun...

After dropping the kids off at their mom's, I attempt to restart the truck...Nothing!
A few choice words later( followed by a pissed off stare into the bleak nothingness that surrounds my soul), I walk over to the apartment where a local systemite agrees to drive me down to the auto parts store so I can exchange the truck battery for a new one.
The trek to O'rielly's was a perilous one. We stuck to the access roads to avoid icy overpasses and flyovers. We pass one wreck after another. Still we push on. The police have the upper deck of the highway closed off along with the road in front of the auto parts store. This truly was a night of mayhem....I cautiously grip the hilt of the Katana at my side. We find an alternate entrance.
At the store I exchange the battery, pick up some new wiper blades, and get some de-icing spray( worthless). I figured I was forgetting something but, couldn't remember what. So we returned home and finished the cold-wet-dark job of reinstalling the battery. Sleep was sweet.

Salvation on thin ice....

I wake up at 6:15...Late! Rush down the slick stairs and to the truck. Quickly I spray the windows with de-icer. It only leaves the windows cloudy. I start the truck and proceed to drive with my head partially out the window Ace Ventura style.
Most of the motorist around me are driving a cautious 45 mph , but I'm making great time whizzing in and out of traffic. My attention is drawn to the "check gauge" light on the instrument panel. It was then that I notice the temperature meter is completely in the red. Oh f@#k! I pull over to the shoulder, witch is basically an ice patch, and slide for about 50 feet. Once out, I pop the hood. Sure enough, the radiator was frozen!"Oh God please don't let the head be cracked". Meanwhile, tractor trailers and cars a flying passed. I realize that I'm in an extremely dangerous spot, so I wait for the engine to cool a little and move to a gas station at the next exit.
At the gas station I start filling cups up with hot water from the coffee machine and then pore them into the radiator , while letting it drain out the bottom side. I did this for the next hour. Inquisitive gas station customers would ask me what I was doing. I'd have to explain myself over and over. A mechanic approached me and said that I would have to get it towed to a dealership, where they would have to leave it in the garage for four or five hours before it would defrost sufficiently. He laughed when I asked if hot water would do the trick."I'll show you...Stupid mechanic".
I had to walk over to the next gas station to get some antifreeze, as they had sold out. The Indian clerk wanted 10 bucks for a gallon of premixed anti-freeze and water."It is precisely the best you can get", he said. "It's rated for temperatures of -34 degrees". I just need something for like 20 degrees. "sounds a lot like price gauging" I thought.
Once back at the truck I filled the radiator up and said a default prayer."God, if you love me....Or at least admire me...Or just feel sorry for me, then please don't let the head be cracked". I started the engine then watched the gauge. It stayed cool!
Yes!!!!
I guess God does love me!!..Or at least admires me!.. Or just feels sorry for me.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Catch me if you can.

After much deliberation, I have concluded that the only hobby I can afford right now is running.
So It starts, tomorrow at 5 am...Ok maybe 5:15, I will hit the streets. Donned in my newly acquired jogging pants and a sweater or two, I will run with vigor( I'd better... It's freezing out there). Try and catch me now.....you bastard creditors!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Oh the Welsh!

It seems a Welsh inventor has come up with a contraption that emits a sound at a very high frequency. Apparently, most people over the age 30 can't hear sound at this frequency, and the product is being used to keep loitering teenagers away from malls and stores. We under 30ers have had a product for keeping old people away for quite some time now. It's a little thing called Rock!
Anyway, I hear the Welsh government is working on a proto-type of this teenage repelling device that can be mounted on the posterior of the local sheep. It would be a godsend really!

Blues

It’s all wrong, but it’s all right.
The way that you treat me baby.
Once I was strong but I lost the fight.
You won’t find a better loser.