Post office robbery!

Yesterday I stopped by the post office to mail off some bills. I walked up to the stamp vending machine to buy a stamp. As usual they offer single stamps or books of stamps. Having only 35 cents in change,(a single stamp is 37 cents, they also sell 23 cent stamps which is absurd because it costs 37 cents to mail a standard envelope) I am forced to go to the next highest price, which happens to be a dollar and 30 cents. So I deposit a dollar bill , a quarter and a dime. Sure enough, the damn machine doesn't want MY dime, so I am forced to deposit another dollar bill. The stamp booklet proceeds to fall down to the slot, along comes the change... Sounds like way too much! I reach my hand into the change dispenser, to find all my change has been returned in nickels .... G@# Damn!!! The last thing I want at this moment is to have to put 14 nickels in my pocket and jingle around the rest of the day." I got it!! I'll buy a couple more stamps with the nickels!"... I proceed to place nickels in the coin slot. Of course the piece of crap only takes one nickel and sends all the rest down to the change dispenser." F#$king piece of garbage!!!!". " Of course I have to try one more time. I reach down to the change dispenser...... My attention is drawn to the sound of two children running towards me. ( a boy about 4 or 5 and a girl about 7 or 8) They then proceed to push their hands around mine and both are trying to get at the precious nickels.
I, in shock, am also still trying to get MY nickels back. The boy having grabbed a few, turns around, grabs onto the crotch of my jeans and begins to hanging on me. At this point I'm freaking out. Not sure what to do exactly..If I remove the kids hands from my pants I risk being placed in a very Michael Jackson like setting i.e my hands on boys arm who's hand is on" that area" of my pants. I scan the line at the other end of the building, looking for signs of a parent, however no one seems to want to own up to the children. "I must make my way out of here fast." I thought to myself! Just then I hear the voice of the mother! She grabs the boy off of me and swats him, while scolding him in Spanish. The boy arches his back and throws himself on the floor. The nickels fall on the floor and another fight ensues between the children over the nickels on the floor. I turn around deposit my mail and take off. I think I'll try paying my bills online next time!